"We are not human beings
trying to be spiritual.
We are spiritual beings
trying to be human"
-Jacquelyn Small

Marie Younkin-Waldman, talk show host and newspaper columnist shares her tradition of Holiday Teas with tea Time World Wide and offers wonderful ideas on how to start your own traditions.

Getting Ready for Holiday Teas

A friend once asked me to write about ideas for celebrating the holidays with tea parties for the benefit of people like herself who knew nothing about planning and creating special teas. So for those of you who wish to entertain over the holidays with tea parties this one is for you! I hope it will be helpful to you and I know you will have fun.

Grandmother pours

Some of my own earliest memories of afternoon tea come from my Victorian era grandmother who was raised in Virginia. Besides her daily ritual of tea at four o'clock, she would open her home on New Year's Day to the entire congregation of her husband's parish. I remember as a small child being allowed to cut out and decorate the "sandtarts" from the cookie dough that my grandmother had rolled out ever so thinly. It was such a special treat. And I remember watching my grandmother "pour" at teatime as she made pleasant conversation with her guests. I thought that my grandmother looked as elegant as a queen did when she performed this ceremony. Perhaps that is the origin of my delight in afternoon tea.

The tea is my gift

For the past fifteen years or so I have been giving Christmas holiday teas in my home. My early teas started with just a few friends or neighbors. Now the number has grown because I have met so many wonderful and interesting women that I want to invite. This is the occasion for me to show my appreciation for their friendship and their addition to my life. The tea is my gift to them at holiday time. It is also the part of the season that I look forward to the most every year. Now that my children have grown up I direct most of my seasonal energy to creating a glorious holiday tea for my special friends.

Devoting an afternoon to invitations

In October (or earlier) I begin thinking about my tea by trying to find the loveliest invitations. I usually splurge on special invitations decorated with embossed Victorian roses or something similar that I find in specialty shops. (Or you can make your own design if you are clever.) This year I bought invitations with a patriotic theme on the cover to connect with our present feelings. I devote an afternoon, (usually a rainy Sunday with Pavarotti or Mozart playing in the background), find a comfortable spot and with fountain pen in hand I write out every invitation in my best handwriting. It takes time but as I write out the invitations it provides me with an opportunity to stop and think about each person to whom I am writing and to recall special memories about that person.

Calling the server

The next thing I do is to get on the phone and call my favorite server. I need to see if she is available for the date I have selected before I mail out my invitations. This is another gift I give to my guests. By having someone to help in the kitchen and at the tea I can focus entirely on being a good hostess to my guests. Also, I am hard of hearing and I need to be near people in order to hear them so I cannot be in the kitchen and listening to my friends at the same time.

Planning the menu

Then I plan my menu and decide how and where I am going to get the food. I keep a file from past years with details about the teas so that I can start with a framework. When I had more time (didn't we all used to have more time?) I used to bake everything myself but now I take advantage of nearby bakeries and gourmet shops to supplement my menu. And I do not feel guilty doing this! After all, I do not want to overstress myself by trying to do so much that I cannot enjoy my own party.

Arranging the delicacies

Everything I offer must look lovely and delicate. I use paper doilies under everything. I buy rich tasting brownies, bars and cakes. If they are large I cut them into quarters and arrange them in the small fluted paper cups. Then I arrange the cakes and sweets on my heirloom antique Limoges porcelain plates and the silver pieces from my grandmother and her family. I arrange the sweets attractively on the plates without putting out too many at once. During the tea the server can replenish the plates. To add to these goodies I bake small lemon lovenotes, almond crescents or Russian teacake pecan balls and perhaps some colorful and tasty spritz cookies-dainty and easy to maneuver for the ladies.

Preparing tea sandwiches

I am always thinking delicate and attractive. I have thin bread and butter as my grandmother did, arranged carefully on the serving plates. There are small tea sandwiches such as watercress, cucumber (the burpless English variety) and sometimes pinwheel sandwiches. I have the server come an hour early to help assemble the sandwiches at the last minute so that they are fresh. I get the long unsliced bread from the bakery, slice it lengthwise and spread fillings such as colored cream cheese, boursin cheese, tuna, ham or chicken spread on the slices. Sometimes I place olives or parsley along the end so that when you roll the slices up and slice them later there is a pretty garnish in the middle of the circle. You can use your imagination and have lots of fun constructing sandwiches with various decorative edible garnishes. Experiment before the party.

Brewing the tea

For the tea I use loose tea- either Darjeeling or Earl Grey. During the party the server keeps the pots filled with hot water and keeps plenty of water boiling on the stove. For a good pot of tea you must first rinse the teapot with boiling water, then add the tea. There should be one teaspoon for each cup and one for the pot. Then you gently pour the boiling water over the tealeaves and allow to steep for about five minutes, not too long or it will be too strong and bitter. I usually also offer hot mulled cider with thin orange slices pierced with cloves floating in it.

Decorating the table

On my antique mahogany dining table I have placed my old family linens and dainty linen tea napkins sometimes rolled up and tied with a decorative ribbon. There is a festive holiday centerpiece and the family silver candlesticks with candles lit and aglow. Some years instead of the candlesticks I might place many small-lit white votive candles in a circle around the centerpiece for a magical look. I have lots of fun decorating the table and the house. Sometimes I only use candlelight in the house. My grandmother's silver tea service is at the head of the table where I sometimes sit and pour. Then we might all pretend that it is fifty or more years ago when our grandmothers were alive. Those seemed like gentle times. My guests now expect me to be at the end of the table pouring and it gives me an opportunity to offer special attention to each guest one at a time.

Enjoying the tea

At the teas we laugh a lot. Everyone is happy to see each other. Some of us only see one another once a year and we are so excited to catch up on news. We play old-fashioned Victorian games or share thoughts and feelings of the holidays around a circle as we light each other's small candles. Sometimes we go downstairs and I try to play the piano so we can sing Christmas carols. We share photos of our kids amongst ourselves and we laugh some more. One year we had a "Mother-Daughter" Tea with our daughters and granddaughters.

Themes for the tea

We usually have a theme and do something for a special cause as part of our celebrating the spirit of the season. We have gathered food and made food baskets for local families and we have brought items for hurricane victims. This year we are bringing new toys and canned food for a local agency that has been hit hard because of the economy and the aid sent to the disaster relief funds.

My wonderful friends

Every year my holiday tea is different. I am never certain exactly how many guests are coming, (not everyone responds) but that is part of the fun. It is so exciting for me to have everything sparkling and in place and then to wait in anticipation for my guests as they come in one by one. When they arrive we laugh and greet each other with hugs and smiles. This is the best part of the tea. I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful friends who come to my teas. Being with my friends is my special holiday gift to myself and it makes all the work and planning of the tea definitely worthwhile!

Marie Younkin Waldman (401) 789-4658 teawithmarie
11/19/01 About 1,550 words
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